Four weeks from ChaCha Humiliation. Six lessons, one hot song, a third of our number choreographed and I still feel like the world’s biggest goofball. My body has a mind of it’s own, and apparently it has a very low IQ. I hear Michael say “now rotate that right foot forward and turn your ribcage left” and what happens? My left shoulder hikes straight up to my ear and my right hip juts toward the floor in a pose frighteningly reminiscent of one of Picasso's "Bathers." I’m thinking about a new career playing Jim Carrey’s klutzy younger sister.
Our song is Tom Jones’ “Sexbomb.” Chita-Rivera-meets-American-Hustle. We spent an entire session listening to songs trying to find the PERFECT ONE for our number. Michael thought for sure I would go for Big&Rich’s “Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy.” I felt terrible, but I had to tell him I know those guys too well to ChaCha to their song. I just don’t think I could ever face John Rich again if I knew I’d rocked my hips while he sang about gigging frogs. Tom Jones’ cover of Prince’s “Kiss” was a close contender, but it didn’t have enough “juicy bits,” moments of high drama like a big horn stab or a drum break to ramp up the excitement and give you something to pose to, or better yet launch a spectacular aerial lift. Michael is beginning to realize that no matter how much I practice, my dancing style will always be best described as “Modern Spaz,” and so he has very smartly focused on incorporating lots of crowd-pleasing elements that don’t require much skill on my part: the big lift, the elevated spin, and sure to peg the applause meter, 70’s disco wigs.
Which we will rip off each other’s heads mid-number.
ChaCha knows no shame. Or pride, it turns out.
At least not on this dance floor, for one good reason - a reason we all wholeheartedly celebrated at the big sponsor thank you dinner last night. We gathered, Safe Haven staff and board members, celebrity dancers, professional dancers and supportive sponsors at the Governor’s Club to remind ourselves why we are so strangely willing to make complete fools of ourselves – for love. Love of this hard-working organization, Safe Haven, that consistently provides a home and so much more for homeless families. Love for the families brave enough to accept the helping hand of community and lift themselves off of life’s hard rock bottom. And love for each other, mostly strangers before last month, who have come together from all walks of life; businessmen, politicos, pageant goddesses and winning athletes, all willing to laugh and be laughed at for a worthy cause.